What's next??

So its actually now been a couple months since my last post!?  Wow, time certainly does seem to fly these days, its crazy!  Things have been going fairly well since I wrote last, I have been teaching quite a bit and been working at creating even further opportunity for myself to travel and teach. 

This past week I ended up being involved in a music video that was being shot just outside of Manchester for a new band called IvyRise.  I was unsure whether I should do the project or not, as financially it was not the best option for me but my curiousity won out and I ended up there, dressed in a period costume, looking like a quirky Marie Antoinette of sorts:P  It turned out to be a really good experience and much was learnt about how to choreograph for these types of things and everything ran very smoothly, so Im very happy I pushed myself to do it regardless of the seeming adversity.  This coming weekend, I have been invited to teach in Portugal alongside some amazing and talented choreographers from both Portugal and the UK and I am beyond excited to be back in this lovely country, doing what I love and soaking up some sun (hopefully!) in the process.  Going to Portugal last year was definitely one of the best experiences Ive had since moving here and if this trip is even half as lovely as the last, I will be extremely happy!  Somehow dancing in other countries (especially ones that arent necessarily as "developed" with regards to their dance scene) is extremely motivating and inspiring for me and always reminds me why I do what I do.  People tend to be much more appreciative of your time and talents in these places and are not afraid to outwardly show their appreciation, which leaves you with such a positive feeling:) 

I have also been spending a lot of time recently contemplating what my next step from here should be and have still not come up with any solid conclusions.  There are just so many things one can do in life and so many things to be accomplished that it seems utterly daunting and overwhelming to decide on any one particular thing at times!  I wish there was a little fairy godmother who could sit on my shoulder and make these important decisions for me, with complete certainty and knowledge of the best outcome for me.  Of course, this will never be the case and I will have to eventually make these decisions on my own but at the moment it just feels like there are so many "possible" paths, with no particular one seeming 100% right, just yet.  I am hoping that over the next little while the right one for me will unfold and I can walk down it with confidence and a clear vision of what it will hold for me.

This all sounds very deep and serious Im sure haha but having said all of this, I am also making a very concentrated effort recently to just enjoy each day as it comes and stay positive, motivated and healthy.  I am constantly working at battling my underlying fears around various things including, love, money, success and so on but also know how important it is not to let them eat me up and spit me out.  Replacing my negative thoughts and becoming aware of my negative thought patterns in general, seems to be helping with this but it is definitely an evolving process:) 

I am going to do my best to post sooner this time compared to last and thank you all for taking an interest in my life and thoughts.

xx
Shauna

Just thoughts, that's all:)

So, its been much too long since I decided to write here last and I've been feeling a bit at a standstill this past week, so now is a good time I think to share:)

Just over a week ago now, I came back to London from a lovely trip home to Vancouver for my 30th birthday!  I had a wonderful time seeing and spending time with my friends and family, albeit short but nonetheless wonderful hehe.  The trip really reminded me of the ease of my life at home and how much I miss that here in London.  Here everything seems to have to go through "a process" to get done and the amount of hustling you do for work or life in general is not necessarily reciprocated with regards to how much success or work you see.  It feels like life here is somewhat "like pulling teeth" at times and Im not sure if this is just how it is, or if it is something I am putting out regarding my time here and I am seeing it being created before me.  The "in tune" part of me knows it is the latter but arrrrgh, just so frustrated with what feels like constant awareness and trying to push through all these old thoughts and feelings to finally make a little progress and then arrive on the other side to new blocks to overcome!?  The little kid in me just feels like giving up being over here and run home to all that is safe and comfortable to me but the year I have already put into this journey, to only finally now be seeing results, tells me that is not the answer.  Ultimately there is nothing wrong with things here and I now feel much more settled and have some amazing friends that I am truly thankful for.  Work is going decent, although there could always be more and I am able to dance heaps these days which is nice.  Something is missing though, something just does not add up with me and the UK and I cant quite place it.  It has been helping that the weather has been lovely lately and this seems to lift some of the city's dullness and gloom and I have definitely found myself strolling in the sun appreciating many things that are "London" to me.  To be honest Im not sure what has caused my upheaval this time overall.  I know that my time here will come to an end with this year and I guess I also feel like now is the time to achieve the things I originally envisioned for my life here, like travelling and teaching and seeing the rest of Europe and just basically "exploring" a bit more as I feel like life here is a bit too isolated and not necessarily a true representation of all that European life has to offer.

I guess the simplest answer to this is to just simply travel and get on with it, which I am pushing to the forefront in my head and will start looking into short trips over the next couple of months, so I can tick some of my desired locations off my list, as a start at least:)

Aside from that though, I have also been giving some thought as to what I want to do when I do have to return home after all of this and the notion has me both excited and uncomfortable with what it holds.  I would like to go spend some time in LA I think and train and just put in face, as I have not done that since I started dancing professionally and I think it could be beneficial to me on a few levels, so I need to look into that.  There has also been a lot of nagging thoughts regarding what I want to do with my dancing and with my life overall and what the most natural progression for things would be for me at this point?  Im still not sure entirely but somehow I feel like all of my travelling and experiences up to now will have some role in this, we will see how that unfolds though I suppose.

On top of all this work/dance stuff, I have also been spending countless hours in deep thought about some of my subconscious thoughts I have realised I have with regards to men and relationships and I am struggling to stay more on top of what I am putting out with regards to this and truly creating the most ideal environment for myself with regards to this.  It is a process though, sheesh  and can at times be daunting and ever so frustrating!  Im still at work on this but I think I am slowly making progress with it at least, which is always encouraging:)  Some days, I am so happy to be solo and just living life for me, other days old Shauna creeps back in and starts trying to tell me I need someone else to share my life with to feel fulfilled.  For the most part though, I am happy on my own for the time being and am just trying to stay focused on work and dancing and life in general rather than on someone else's thoughts and feelings and how my actions affect them.  Oh life, so much to think about all the time and one never really knows whether it is right or wrong do they.....its all just part of the process and everyones is different, so interesting really.

Anyways, speaking of staying focused on work and stuff I should probably be doing some instead of rambling away on here hahaha.  Hope everyone is well and happy and enjoying the Spring! xxoo

Shauna

video number 2!!! Happy Valentines day:)

Shauna Smith choreography!

Warning, some major gratitude going on in here hahaha:)

Hey People,

Sorry its been awhile again since my last post, or at least it feels that way since life is moving so quickly lately!  This year has been full of ups and downs already and we are only in the 2nd month!?  How is that possible??

So, it is officially my first year anniversary here in the UK, as of last week, which is also crazy!  The past year was pretty all over the place to say the least but somehow as 2011 approached, I made a conscious choice that it would be different and amazing and so far so good!  I am still working on the financial side of things, although I see improvement and feel like I am becoming more and more supported in that area.   I am very aware of my beliefs around money and am consciously trying to work on them and to make them more positive and productive.  One thing I really missed since being here was all of my amazing friends and family, who always make me feel special and supported.  I struggled alot with being away from them for the past year and at times I felt so lost in not having them to fall back on.  Recently though, I seem to be attracting so many amazing, smart, talented and loving people into my life and I have been feeling like myself again, which is so refreshing:)

This past weekend was non stop action and I loved every minute of it!  Friday I had an awesome photoshoot with an amazingly talented photographer and his lovely wife, by the name of Ben Mostyn (http://benmostyn.virb.com)
he was a joy to work with and I felt like I was at home with my family, with all of our exploring around historic Bermondsey Street and trying all sorts of fun things, like running in an alley, jumping across blocks in the park and sneaking some pics in on a cool sofa in a kitschy coffee shop:)  He was so worried that I might find his approach odd and I just kept thinking, this is perfect!

Saturday was an awesome dance day, I have missed those full days of dancing non stop where you go home exhausted and can barely move haha.  I know, us dancers are a bit nuts :P
I took two awesome classes early in the day, taught my Intro class at Danceworks and then headed to my first class at Husky's with Miha and Chris, which I had been eagerly awaiting all week and was anxious to see the turnout as one never knows what to expect here in London, or anywhere for that matter when you are new!  We had a pretty decent turnout for our first time (it was free after all hahah) and it was three hours of good vibes and fun dancing and everyone left tired and happy, so I was happy and am so excited for next Saturday!  I feel so privileged and lucky to be working with these two inspiring and talented dancers.  I truly believe that when we support each other, we are all successful and working with these two has been no exception to this belief thus far and I am so thankful for them in my life.

Today I was up early again for a private I do weekly with a couple of teens who are entering a competition at their school (fingers crossed for them!) and we finished up the bulk of their choreography and are in the home stretch on our project.  Then had another private with two new students, who I had lots of fun with and am looking forward to working with them again.  Overall this weekend reminded me of why I do what I do and what types of amazing things you can attract and create for yourself when you stay positive and excited about life.  I feel so blessed every day recently with the amazingness around me and I wouldn't change it for the world.

On a seperate and very special note, I learned this week that my family and friends at home are pooling their funds together to fly me home for my 30th birthday!?  I cant even begin to tell you how touching this is and how special it has made me feel.  Because I am away from home, I sometimes feel like I am out of peoples thoughts due to the distance and to hear of all of the awesome people I know coming together like that just for me, makes me want to cry (of happiness of course!)  If you are reading this and are one of those people that donated to my coming home, I want to say thank you more than words can express I feel so blessed to know all of you and you have made me feel very special!  Whoever is in Vancouver and available, I definitely want to see you at my birthday party so I can thank you!!!

Umm, I know that was kind of random babbling but I just wanted to share my happiness as this weekend comes to a close and I will do my best to share with you again during my week!

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my life both present and past, I truly credit who I am and what I do to all of you:)

Much love
Shauna

My first ever video edit!!!

Hey Guys,

So, as many of you that know me know, I can be one of the worlds biggest procrastinators!!  I am full of exciting ideas and eager to get started on many things but my follow through is not the best at times, as I have thinking A.D.D and I cant seem to sit still long enough to get anything useful accomplished half the time.  Having said that, one of the things I wanted to work on this year with regards to my dance, is being a better all around "dance business person" incorporated into that is being able to edit videos, cut music, set pieces on people with confidence and a few others:)  Sooooo, my first order of business for the year was to learn how to use my "user friendly" imovie program which has been sitting dormant in my poor Mac for years now and was definitely ready for some usage!!  (I still have imovie 08 and we are on 11 now hahaha)


Anyways, I know it is nothing superhuman or anything and to most people is a mere drop in the bucket but finishing my first video edit all on my own was a big and important accomplishment for me personally, so I wanted to share the results:)  I hope you all enjoy and watch for many more to come this year and in the future! (check the link below!!)





favourite girl- rico love


Thanks for your support and hope you enjoy!

xx
Shauna

money matters

So, its been a week or so since i posted anything here and I thought it about time I got back to it, before you all forgot about me:)


Its been an interesting past couple of weeks here in the life of Shauna.  My computer charger died at one point and I felt like I had my umbilical cord recut, it was so frustrating for me, this thing is literally my life blood these days and to be without it is almost numbing!  Sad but true story haha.  I finally got a new cord from a new friend of mine, thank gosh and life can beginning again.  Since getting it though, I have been unable to sleep as I have been feeling anxious and like there is something I need to be doing and there is literally not enough time in my day to get it all done.  I think last night I maxxed out at almost 5am!?  Oddly and on another topic, I had been feeling really positive about my financial outlook for the next couple of months as I came into the new year, which felt amazing.  A couple of days ago though, one of my main sources of income got cut, literally overnight and I felt like I was back at square one....up shit creek with no paddle in sight!  As those that are close to me know, I can be very good at creating things for myself in life and I pride myself on this talent.  The one thing I have always struggled with creating in abundance though, is money!?  This frustrates me to no end, at times, and is my eternal quest it seems.  With this past weeks interruption in my forcasted financial bliss, I realised it is all just a test and that I keep being put in these situations to test whether I truly do trust in the universe and its ability to provide for me.  Hmm, at this moment Im not so sure to be honest but I guess I better check those negative thoughts at the door and push forward with the positivity if Im looking to create any sort of change in this current circumstance! 

In every other aspect of my life at the moment, I feel completely surrounded by love and abundance and am excited and positive about the outcomes I have been seeing/creating.  Its like finances is the last frontier for me and I am in the standoff with it and I definitely refuse to lose, so it better budge asap! 

I will write more later this evening about more dance related topics but I just wanted to share that with someone since I was feeling the weight of it this morning.  I always hope that through sharing things, they will move on from my life and I will be able to grow in the process:)



Thank you guys for listening and hope you are having an inspired and successful year thus far!

xx

Things that make you go hmmmm...

Since before the new year began, I felt like 2011 had some sort of shift accompanying it and I couldnt help feel excited and as if I was waiting for it to appear.  For the past week, I have felt excited, happy and alive.  Somehow though, this shift is not entirely in full force yet and today I feel a bit battered and set back again:(  Im not sure what this is all about, although I think the final part of it was due to my curious george nature and my decision to begin watching "Earthlings" with the roomies tonight.  I dont regret starting it and I will definitely finish it, as it feels educational and as humans we somehow like to be shocked and disgusted with ourselves via imagery and narrative.  It gives us this weird internal feeling of disgust for ourselves and our fellow man but somehow it doesnt quite push us to take that extra step and stop eating meat or wearing leather or or or does it?  Its odd how we can feel so moved by something and yet tomorrow I will probably wake up and have milk in my tea and no doubt eat something that was inhumanely killed or wear some leather shoes.  Argh, this notion makes me feel utterly queezy with myself and its hard not to hate on myself when I think of my role in all of the atrocities that are happening every day to defenseless animals and to our earth in general!  I need to start educating myself further on other options I think, as usually my reason for avoidance of new things is just a lack of understanding or readily available knowledge about them.  For instance, I would feel much better about myself in general I think if I made the choice not to eat meat.  However, as I barely get enough nutrients from my minimal diet as is, I need the iron and other nutrients I get from my random patterings of meat here and there throughout the week to stay strong.  I am definitely going to at least make the effort to seek other alternatives though, as I at least want to be able to face myself in the mirror knowing that I did something, anything to help!

Aside from that though haha (sorry got on a tangent there!)  I have been spending a lot of time this week considering the concept that if it is indeed true that we all create the physical reality we each live in through our sub conscious and conscious thoughts, then why am I creating my current reality for myself!?  I must have some sort of weird ish going on in my head still, even after spending so much time with myself these days and writing loads and trying to gain broader insight into all that is me and all that I want to be me, I am still creating discomfort and lack.  I know I have to continue doing all that I can to maintain a healthy, motivated and positive head space in order to continue living my dreams but some days I get frustrated and confused by it all and just want to give up and get a boring 9-5 and call it a day.  The lure of the constant pay check and outwardly flashy life, sometimes feels tempting but then I remember what that life felt like as well and something was definitely missing.  Even though Ive been broke for the past year and am continuing to struggle, I somehow still cant help feeling blessed with the talents god gave me and the amazing people I have in my life.  I just wish I had a clearer picture on what it is I am meant to do with my talents and how I can help others in this journey.  I am surrounded constantly by so many amazing, beautiful and inspiring people and to watch them and myself struggle makes my heart ache sometimes.  I want to be able to hold their hands and show them the way but I am pushing to find it for myself as well, so it is hard.  All I can offer for now is my positivity and kind words of motivation in hopes that we will all move forward together and there will be a light at the end of this tunnel for all of us that is shiny and rich:)

This is getting really long so Im going to stop for tonight but if you get a chance check out "earthlings" and prepare to change your lifestyle asap afterwards!

Lots of love
Shauna