Friday, 8 July 2011

Decisions, decisions!!

Sometimes I feel like I am a yoyo at the end of a string that is much too short and has me rolling back down before I ever fully get up!  This is one of those times.  Over the past couple of weeks, I have truly been enjoying London and all it has to offer, as my best friend has come to visit for the summer, which is great!  We've been bike riding in the park, took lots of good classes, shopped and taught classes.  It has been so nice to have a "partner in crime" so to speak for a couple of weeks, to experience my life here with me.  It has also reminded me though, of the things I have always wanted in my life and that they are not necessarily coming closer any sooner, while I sit here and wait on them.  I've been watching friends here in Europe going from one summer dance camp to the next, with the money they've worked hard for throughout the year and I can't help but feel slightly envious and frustrated, as I cannot afford to do the same since being here.  Then it kind of dawned on me this morning.....why, am I stressed about not being able to go to dance camps that are quite expensive due to their amazing line up of international (north american) teachers, when if I went home and saved money I could just go to LA to take the same peoples classes on a month pass that costs a fraction of prices here??  For some reason this really got me thinking this morning and feeling motivated to just do whatever it is that will make me the most money for the next little while and then do just that for a bit!  For some reason, too often I make life decisions based on other people around me and what works for them, rather than just choosing what is the best option for me and running with it in hopes that those people will either support it or better yet, follow suit! 

I need to start making life and career decisions based on what is in my best interest from now on, rather than always worrying about what works for everyone else and trying to accomodate everyone.  The hard part is trusting that in doing this, I will be surrounded by the right people and situations for me and I dont need to try so hard to create them.  I truly love what I do and from now on will let only that be my focus.  Too many times, things get wrapped up with personal issues that shouldn't be and I end up feeling hurt and confused as I was trying to make others happy before myself.  This is a lesson I thought I had learnt ages ago but somehow it is still relevant apparently!?  hahah.  Oh life!

Anyways, I know this entry is somewhat random but I just needed to write and this seeemed like the best outlet for today as it was quick and easy.  If this makes no sense to you, stay posted for future entries:)

Thanks for sharing in my journey with me!