Tuesday, 25 January 2011

My first ever video edit!!!

Hey Guys,

So, as many of you that know me know, I can be one of the worlds biggest procrastinators!!  I am full of exciting ideas and eager to get started on many things but my follow through is not the best at times, as I have thinking A.D.D and I cant seem to sit still long enough to get anything useful accomplished half the time.  Having said that, one of the things I wanted to work on this year with regards to my dance, is being a better all around "dance business person" incorporated into that is being able to edit videos, cut music, set pieces on people with confidence and a few others:)  Sooooo, my first order of business for the year was to learn how to use my "user friendly" imovie program which has been sitting dormant in my poor Mac for years now and was definitely ready for some usage!!  (I still have imovie 08 and we are on 11 now hahaha)

Anyways, I know it is nothing superhuman or anything and to most people is a mere drop in the bucket but finishing my first video edit all on my own was a big and important accomplishment for me personally, so I wanted to share the results:)  I hope you all enjoy and watch for many more to come this year and in the future! (check the link below!!)

favourite girl- rico love

Thanks for your support and hope you enjoy!


Wednesday, 19 January 2011

money matters

So, its been a week or so since i posted anything here and I thought it about time I got back to it, before you all forgot about me:)

Its been an interesting past couple of weeks here in the life of Shauna.  My computer charger died at one point and I felt like I had my umbilical cord recut, it was so frustrating for me, this thing is literally my life blood these days and to be without it is almost numbing!  Sad but true story haha.  I finally got a new cord from a new friend of mine, thank gosh and life can beginning again.  Since getting it though, I have been unable to sleep as I have been feeling anxious and like there is something I need to be doing and there is literally not enough time in my day to get it all done.  I think last night I maxxed out at almost 5am!?  Oddly and on another topic, I had been feeling really positive about my financial outlook for the next couple of months as I came into the new year, which felt amazing.  A couple of days ago though, one of my main sources of income got cut, literally overnight and I felt like I was back at square one....up shit creek with no paddle in sight!  As those that are close to me know, I can be very good at creating things for myself in life and I pride myself on this talent.  The one thing I have always struggled with creating in abundance though, is money!?  This frustrates me to no end, at times, and is my eternal quest it seems.  With this past weeks interruption in my forcasted financial bliss, I realised it is all just a test and that I keep being put in these situations to test whether I truly do trust in the universe and its ability to provide for me.  Hmm, at this moment Im not so sure to be honest but I guess I better check those negative thoughts at the door and push forward with the positivity if Im looking to create any sort of change in this current circumstance! 

In every other aspect of my life at the moment, I feel completely surrounded by love and abundance and am excited and positive about the outcomes I have been seeing/creating.  Its like finances is the last frontier for me and I am in the standoff with it and I definitely refuse to lose, so it better budge asap! 

I will write more later this evening about more dance related topics but I just wanted to share that with someone since I was feeling the weight of it this morning.  I always hope that through sharing things, they will move on from my life and I will be able to grow in the process:)

Thank you guys for listening and hope you are having an inspired and successful year thus far!


Sunday, 9 January 2011

Things that make you go hmmmm...

Since before the new year began, I felt like 2011 had some sort of shift accompanying it and I couldnt help feel excited and as if I was waiting for it to appear.  For the past week, I have felt excited, happy and alive.  Somehow though, this shift is not entirely in full force yet and today I feel a bit battered and set back again:(  Im not sure what this is all about, although I think the final part of it was due to my curious george nature and my decision to begin watching "Earthlings" with the roomies tonight.  I dont regret starting it and I will definitely finish it, as it feels educational and as humans we somehow like to be shocked and disgusted with ourselves via imagery and narrative.  It gives us this weird internal feeling of disgust for ourselves and our fellow man but somehow it doesnt quite push us to take that extra step and stop eating meat or wearing leather or or or does it?  Its odd how we can feel so moved by something and yet tomorrow I will probably wake up and have milk in my tea and no doubt eat something that was inhumanely killed or wear some leather shoes.  Argh, this notion makes me feel utterly queezy with myself and its hard not to hate on myself when I think of my role in all of the atrocities that are happening every day to defenseless animals and to our earth in general!  I need to start educating myself further on other options I think, as usually my reason for avoidance of new things is just a lack of understanding or readily available knowledge about them.  For instance, I would feel much better about myself in general I think if I made the choice not to eat meat.  However, as I barely get enough nutrients from my minimal diet as is, I need the iron and other nutrients I get from my random patterings of meat here and there throughout the week to stay strong.  I am definitely going to at least make the effort to seek other alternatives though, as I at least want to be able to face myself in the mirror knowing that I did something, anything to help!

Aside from that though haha (sorry got on a tangent there!)  I have been spending a lot of time this week considering the concept that if it is indeed true that we all create the physical reality we each live in through our sub conscious and conscious thoughts, then why am I creating my current reality for myself!?  I must have some sort of weird ish going on in my head still, even after spending so much time with myself these days and writing loads and trying to gain broader insight into all that is me and all that I want to be me, I am still creating discomfort and lack.  I know I have to continue doing all that I can to maintain a healthy, motivated and positive head space in order to continue living my dreams but some days I get frustrated and confused by it all and just want to give up and get a boring 9-5 and call it a day.  The lure of the constant pay check and outwardly flashy life, sometimes feels tempting but then I remember what that life felt like as well and something was definitely missing.  Even though Ive been broke for the past year and am continuing to struggle, I somehow still cant help feeling blessed with the talents god gave me and the amazing people I have in my life.  I just wish I had a clearer picture on what it is I am meant to do with my talents and how I can help others in this journey.  I am surrounded constantly by so many amazing, beautiful and inspiring people and to watch them and myself struggle makes my heart ache sometimes.  I want to be able to hold their hands and show them the way but I am pushing to find it for myself as well, so it is hard.  All I can offer for now is my positivity and kind words of motivation in hopes that we will all move forward together and there will be a light at the end of this tunnel for all of us that is shiny and rich:)

This is getting really long so Im going to stop for tonight but if you get a chance check out "earthlings" and prepare to change your lifestyle asap afterwards!

Lots of love

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Ok so I lied again. This was so beautiful and inspiring to me today somehow, so wanted to share:)


Ideas Ideas Ideas, ok now action!

Ok, so I totally lied when I said my next post would be more exciting and multi media hhaha.  I dont know why but I so havent been in to checking out videos and reposting and stuff this week at all.  Therefore, I decided my blog would be a reflection of that as well and for today will consist only of my thoughts again.

Lately my head has been swimming with thoughts and ideas and as I mentioned before.  I feel excited and like I am on the verge of something amazing......I have no idea what this is of course but it still feels exciting and I'm just going with it haha.  The odd part is, I'm as broke as ever but somehow it is not bothering me, or consuming me, as it does sometimes lately.  I truly feel like the world is my oyster right now and anything is possible.  The right people and situations seem to be presenting themselves to me with ease again and I see opportunities arising where there once was none.  There have been a couple of ideas work wise that have been occupying my mind for awhile now and interestingly enough one of them became a little bit more of a solid possibility today over tea with a friend. 

As many people know, I have had the amazing opportunity to be able to go to South Africa to teach and experience the culture twice now in the past few years and it has truly been one of my most blessed opportunities.  Ever since I was a little girl this was somewhere I wanted to go and having the means to finally do it made me so grateful in so many ways.  The experience was inspiring, humbling, uplifting, scary and so exciting all at once and the people I met and worked with now feel like family in many ways.  From that first visit, I knew I wanted to make a difference in this place and dreamed of helping other dancers experience all that I had.  Today I began brainstorming ways of making that happen and somehow I feel like it is going to be possible this year, which has me beyond excited and eager to see what ensues!  I won't get too into my ideas at the moment as it is just in the infant stages but I will definitely keep you all posted as it begins to grow further and solidify!

Aside from this, on a London note, I had a wonderful experience last night with a small group of dancers from London by the name of Alias.  They were in for their first practice back after the holidays and I was lucky enough to be able to attend.  Not sure quite what to expect as every group rehearses differently, I left my mind open for anything.  Wanting to break everyone in gently to the year, Chris (the leader) decided to work on something they call "freestyle therapy."  Anyone who knows me as a dancer knows that the word "freestyle" and I are sooooo not friends and last night was no exception!  Upon hearing the word, I began sweating and a million thoughts started racing through my head....none of which had anything to do with anything that would be constructive in my "freestyle"  As I watched the other dancers do their thing, I was truly touched by the honesty and humility many of them danced with and beyond impressed with their ability to translate their thoughts and feelings to movement and make it all happen to music no less!?  haha. 

Luckily for the evening, I was able to opt out of my impending doom but it left me feeling frustrated with myself for always "opting out" when it comes to putting myself in front of my ultimate fear with regards to dance.  All I can see in my head though is the times I havent opted out and ended up bumbling around with 10 left feet and no concept of what song was playing or where I was.  Awesome visual I know!  I guess my question in all of this is, how do you gently force yourself into conquering your own fears and what the heck is my problem since I know it is only me holding myself back and no one else!  I am such a strong person in many ways but in others I can be so weak and not push myself, oh life haha.

I left the rehearsal though with a stronger understanding and appreciation for the beauty of freestyling and made a pact with myself to practice on my own at least once a day, until I am comfortable with what type of movement comes out of my body.  Before I leave here, my new goal is to be comfortable enough to share my inner dancer with everyone and to not be ashamed to do so....in fact lets take that one step further.....to be proud of that inner dancer and what she has to offer!!

Even though many of them will not get a chance to read this, I want to use this to say thank you to all of the people who were present in that room last night.  Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and everyone else and for reminding me of why I dance and that we are so blessed to have this outlet.  From now on I am going to do my best to choose dance as my form of expression and not just my outlet but my palette also, for my life story:)  Thanks guys! xx

Monday, 3 January 2011

Ants in the pants!

I dont know why but today I have major ants in my pants!!  I read somewhere that there is a new moon today and that there is a solar eclipse following the lunar one that we had a couple weeks ago and it is a great time to shift old energy and become more clear on what it is we want.  Ok cool, good to know but what the heck do I want to do!?  I seriously need to dance, as this 2 weeks off has been making me a bit loopy and when my body isnt moving, I feel like my brain is moving too fast and it's hard to catch exactly what is going on in there sometimes! 

I know that everything happens for a reason though and that this is just one of those moments which requires patience, an open mind and clarity of what is going on for me, argh sometimes I hate knowing the things I know! haha. 

This past couple of weeks has been a great time of reflection for me and new beginnings and ultimately I feel excited for what is in store for me in the future.  I do get a bit nervous at times though, that I cant quite seem to pin down exactly what it is I want to work towards.  I see it in bits and pieces and there are definite things I want it to include but the actual tangible outcome I am looking for is hard to describe, yikes!  I made the realisation the other day that my life has often been too focused on the journey and the experiences it holds, rather than the destination I desire.  This has all too often left me feeling "in the process" rather than having arrived at my ultimate destination and I want this year to be the year I change that for myself.  I am excited about this revelation but like I said, am finding it tough to put a finger on what that destination exactly looks like.  I mean some things are very clear, dance is my passion and must be included in some form in this destination, I want to have the means to help build a community with regards to dance wherever I may be in the world and to be a part in creating a more global dance community, I also want to make money with my dance though in amounts I had previously deemed impossible and to keep love in my heart every step of the way!  Not such a tall order is it? haha.

That all sounds pretty and everything but where does that leave me, that is the confusion?  Is there a job that encompasses all that or do I not need a title to what it is I want to achieve and just keep pushing forward.  Hmmm, these are the questions one asks themselves (or I do anyways) daily.  I keep hoping and praying an answer will reveal itself to me in my tea leaves or something, or that I will just wake up with an epiphany of how this all comes together in reality but have yet to see it fully.  I think I do get glimpses here and there though, or something along those lines.  There are moments of pure clarity of vision and then they are gone.  Maybe I just need to work on maintaining these visions for longer so that I might get a chance to let it come out of my head onto paper or in words, so that it might become a reality at some point here:P

Anyways, that is my random babbling for this evening.  Tomorrow I am going to try to post some more interesting things like videos and pictures and stuff for those that arent so into reading and reading and reading haha.

Thanks for listening and Ill keep you posted on what comes of it!


Sunday, 2 January 2011

My life in dance.....

So, since I am on a constant journey through life and dance and self love and at times loathing, I have decided to start a blog about it all!  I have never really been good at these types of things but am going to give it a shot and see what comes out:)

You're probably wondering, who the heck is this girl anyways haha.  Well that can only be answered by watching my life unfold I suppose but heres a rough outline.

Always being taught that I could do whatever I wanted, however I wanted if I just "believed" I have always taken the hard route in life and through it have met so many amazing people and had so many cool experiences.  I have been very blessed with a wonderful mother who has helped me to understand the power of my own creation (still mastering this) and so many beautiful friends and family that I dont even know where to begin in saying thanks for them all.  My day to day experiences are like anyone elses Im sure, in that they range from happy to sad to exciting to dull and back again but I always try to maintain an understanding of why things are happening for me and am on a constant mission to keep my thoughts full of love and positivity.  Ok cool your saying to yourself but how does this pertain to dance in any way?? hahah

Well, im not too sure to be honest, it just felt relevant somehow so I went with it hehe.  As far as dance is concerned, it has been my one true passion in life thus far and it took me longer than most to realise its pull on me.  A few years ago though, as I sat in my office plugging away at invoices and with a list of phone calls a mile long I realised it was time to follow that which had always driven me.  I quit my career job that I had taken so long to build up and was so proud of in so many ways and never looked back.  Since then, my life has taken a million turns and I have been on an adventure many people can only dream of.  Dancing has allowed me to travel all over the world including, Los Angeles, New York, Las Vegas, Switzerland, London, South Africa, Portugal and the list is growing!  Every day I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do and even though sometimes the road I chose seems challenging compared to the steady paycheque and mainstream approval that used to be mine, I have never regretted it for one second.  It has allowed me to grow in ways, both physically and mentally that I could have never imagined and I feel like my life experience has been more whole because of it.

Having said all that, I guess the reason I felt ready to start a blog now of all times, is that this year (2011) feels like it is the year to bring more clarity to what it is I want to do within dance and how I want it to evolve for me.  Writing has always been my means of shedding light for myself on my thoughts and feelings and so this time I thought I would share them with the intangible online world and see what results I came back with:)

I hope you enjoy my journey through life and dance and may we all grow and challenge each other along the way!  Keep your eye out for pictures, videos and stories of my adventures and travels:)

Much love to you all!