Monday, 3 January 2011

Ants in the pants!

I dont know why but today I have major ants in my pants!!  I read somewhere that there is a new moon today and that there is a solar eclipse following the lunar one that we had a couple weeks ago and it is a great time to shift old energy and become more clear on what it is we want.  Ok cool, good to know but what the heck do I want to do!?  I seriously need to dance, as this 2 weeks off has been making me a bit loopy and when my body isnt moving, I feel like my brain is moving too fast and it's hard to catch exactly what is going on in there sometimes! 

I know that everything happens for a reason though and that this is just one of those moments which requires patience, an open mind and clarity of what is going on for me, argh sometimes I hate knowing the things I know! haha. 

This past couple of weeks has been a great time of reflection for me and new beginnings and ultimately I feel excited for what is in store for me in the future.  I do get a bit nervous at times though, that I cant quite seem to pin down exactly what it is I want to work towards.  I see it in bits and pieces and there are definite things I want it to include but the actual tangible outcome I am looking for is hard to describe, yikes!  I made the realisation the other day that my life has often been too focused on the journey and the experiences it holds, rather than the destination I desire.  This has all too often left me feeling "in the process" rather than having arrived at my ultimate destination and I want this year to be the year I change that for myself.  I am excited about this revelation but like I said, am finding it tough to put a finger on what that destination exactly looks like.  I mean some things are very clear, dance is my passion and must be included in some form in this destination, I want to have the means to help build a community with regards to dance wherever I may be in the world and to be a part in creating a more global dance community, I also want to make money with my dance though in amounts I had previously deemed impossible and to keep love in my heart every step of the way!  Not such a tall order is it? haha.

That all sounds pretty and everything but where does that leave me, that is the confusion?  Is there a job that encompasses all that or do I not need a title to what it is I want to achieve and just keep pushing forward.  Hmmm, these are the questions one asks themselves (or I do anyways) daily.  I keep hoping and praying an answer will reveal itself to me in my tea leaves or something, or that I will just wake up with an epiphany of how this all comes together in reality but have yet to see it fully.  I think I do get glimpses here and there though, or something along those lines.  There are moments of pure clarity of vision and then they are gone.  Maybe I just need to work on maintaining these visions for longer so that I might get a chance to let it come out of my head onto paper or in words, so that it might become a reality at some point here:P

Anyways, that is my random babbling for this evening.  Tomorrow I am going to try to post some more interesting things like videos and pictures and stuff for those that arent so into reading and reading and reading haha.

Thanks for listening and Ill keep you posted on what comes of it!


1 comment:

  1. You are so funny dear, keep pondering you will come up with it!